Dyspareunia
(Pain with Intercourse)
Dyspareunia is the fancy word for pain with sexual intercourse. Most often this occurs in women, although it can still happen with men. Typically this pain occurs with vaginal penetration. External structures of the vulva can also present with pain, but it is not as common as vaginal penetrative pain. The Vagician can help with all types of pain with intercourse, but for simplicity and commonality we will focus on pain with vaginal penetration.
It is fairly common that the cause of painful intercourse is from some sort of trauma. In this case, trauma can be defined as any type of physical trauma or emotional trauma including but not limited to: verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, rape, sexual harrassment, high stress situations, depression, or phsycial trauma to the area such as infection, pelvic/abdominal surgery, or child birth. After any sort of trauma to this area, the pelvic floor muscles (PFM) typically want to protect you, so they will tighten up and go into a spastic state. Thus, any sort of penetration on the muscles that are contracted very tightly and in spasm will be uncomfortable and painful. Pelvic floor therapists can help retrain those muscles to lengthen, relax, and decrease the spasms and ultimately eliminate the pain with sexual intercourse.
Psychological research has also shown that trauma can result in chronic centralization of pain. Centralization of pain is from inflammation in the nervous system tissues, creating muddled signals from the body to the brain which results in a complex, often indescribable, perception of pain. Not always, but sometimes, even the slightest memory of your trauma can lead to pain. Thus, cognitive behavioral therapy is strongly encouraged in conjunction with pelvic floor therapy to address the emotional components contributing to your pain.
It is highly encouraged you seek a pelvic floor physical therapist so they can help you with retraining your muscles and return to pleasurable, pain free intercourse. I have heard stories of so many doctors tell patients that they have to deal with the pain, or that the pain is just ‘in your head.’ YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH PAIN DURING INTERCOURSE. Treatment does exist. Believe in Vagic, because it’s real.
“YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH PAIN DURING INTERCOURSE.”
Here are a few sexy tips for you so you can have the vagical sex life you deserve:
Lubrication is your best friend. It doesn’t matter how old or how young you are, how wet or how dry you feel, grab the lube and use it.
Women usually need 15-20 minutes of foreplay before engaging in penetrative intercourse. Have some fun allowing your body and your mind to relax and get aroused.
Practice the PFM relaxation techniques before intercourse and during intercourse.
Sexual intimacy is more psychosomatic for women than it is for men. This means that your mindset is very important for arousal. If you’re not in the mood to have sex, then don’t have sex. Period. You are allowed to say no and you don't need an excuse if you don’t want to engage in sexual activity. If your mind is not ready for sexy time, your body will FOR SURE not be ready. So, make sure you are in the mood, you want to engage in sexual activity with your partner, and you feel like you are in a safe environment that makes you feel comfortable and aroused.