8 Ways to Increase your Sex Drive
Women can oftentimes have a decrease in libido or a decrease in sexual desire. Some factors causing this decrease in such desire may include: birth control, medications, stress, anxiety, hormonal influences, our menstrual cycle, diet, and pain. Here are 8 things you can do to increase your sex drive:
Exercise. Exercise is a natural way to emit endorphins in our bodies, aka the hormones that make us feel happy. Exercise can also help increase testosterone which is a helpful hormone for sexual desire. The reason men typically have a higher sex drive is because they typically have higher levels of testosterone in their bodies. Try to increase your daily exercise with a mix of 30 minutes of cardio 3x a week and 30 minutes of weight lifting 2x a week. You may start to feel a little more energy and a greater desire for sexual intimacy.
Do not over exercise. While exercise can help increase energy and testosterone and help increase sexual desire, too much exercise can cause a hyper-sympathetic response and increase fatigue. From personal experience I can attest that in college when I was training as an elite triathlete for 20-25 hours a week I was too fatigued to even think about having sex. Over training can result in sending your body into a sympathetic nervous state, aka the ‘fight or flight’ response. The nervous system responsible for ‘resting and digesting’ or ‘feed and breed’ is the parasympathetic nervous system. Our bowel, bladder, and sexual function is much more optimal when we are in our parasympathetic response. The best way and the easiest way to channel our parasympathetic nervous system is to deep breathe or practice meditation.
Meditation. Meditation is the best and easiest way to channel our parasympathetic nervous system which will help our body physiologically prepare for sexual intercourse. Meditation will also help us with mindfulness and prescence. When women are aroused, our body goes into a sexual physiological response. Our vaginal vault increases, we self lubricate, and our muscles relax. If our minds are occupied with unrelated thoughts, our body will exit the physiological sexual response, thus making sex really uncomfortable and not so fun. Meditation will help you be more present and mindful so your body will function optimally and you’ll have a much more vagical time.
Stress Management. Try your best to figure out what your stressors are and how you can manage them. Stress will increase that sympathetic response which may decrease the desire to have sexual intercourse. Meditation, exercise, bubble baths, journling, nature walks, cooking, etc can all help with stress reduction. Also there is no shame in seeking psychological counseling! I see a therapist every week and it’s one of my favorite hours of the entire week. Figure out what works best for you and make it happen. Your mental health is absolutely the most important.
Eating aphrodisiacs. There isn’t much research with this, but some studies have found that foods such as: strawberries, dark chocolate, red wine, oysters, honey, vanilla, asparagus, figs, basil, and avocado can increase sexual desire.
Masturbate - or solo sexy time as I like to call it. This can help you discover yourself and what you like. I promise you that your partner will enjoy sex more if you are having a good time. Once you figure out what you truly like, sex will be really, really fun and you’ll crave it a little more often.
Partner communication. Communication is so important. Talk to your partner about what you like, and what you don’t like. Leave the ego at the door, and embrace love, comfortability, vulnerability, honesty, and compassion in the bedroom.
Self compassion, self affirmations, self care, and self love. I didn’t trulyyyy feel unconditionally comfortable or sexy in my own skin until I started to practice radical self compassion and self love. This means that I embrace my beautiful body even on the days I have terrible hair, haven’t shaved in weeks, and am feeling as bloated as a balloon. This is unconditional self love. If we can channel self love and self compassion, we will realize how beautiful and desirable we truly are. Once you realize you are gorgeously sexy and magical no matter what, you’ll recognize your worthiness. Once you recognize your worthiness, you will recognize how desirable you are. Once you recognize your desirability, you will see the sexy goddess that you are and your sexual universe will change for the better.
I hope you soon start to live in your power, magic, and worthiness. I hope you soon start to see the sexy goddess that you truly are.
Xx Dr. Laura